Gherkin Street

On July 20, 1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong landed their Lunar Module on the moon's Sea of Tranquility and became the first two humans to walk on the moon. Or did they? At the age of 74, Buzz Aldrin finally comes clean in this In The News Weekend Edition exclusive:

The simple answer is, yes, in 1969 Neil and I did land on the moon. But that is not the whole story, and I just feel that the time is right to tell all.

Firstly, my mother's real name is not Marion Moon. It's really Sheryl Radford. NASA suggested she change it to add some romance and mom agreed. I thought you journalists would have worked that out given Neil's mom isn't really called Ivana Rocket.

I also need to tell you that we did try to fake the moon landing thing a couple of times. Neil and I did two shoots and ran them unsuccessfully past a very select test audience.

The first one failed because you could see Neil's car in the shot. Thirty million dollars that shoot cost and Neil decides to park on the set. The audiences picked it up right away. That and we shouldn't have used the robot from Lost in Space.

The next shot went perfectly but failed because one of the audience had been to Greece where we shot the sequence. I knew the whole idyllic beach thing was a bad idea.

Besides, by then NASA had already sent a man to the moon.

Yes, its true, Neil and I were not the first. NASA actually sent Apollo 10 ½, piloted by David Treeborn and Roger Winterbottom. Trouble was, NASA hadn't realized the full effect of zero gravity. David touched the ground and then shot off like a hot air balloon. He's still floating up there somewhere. After seeing that, Roger not surprisingly refused to get out of his Lunar Module. So the next time anyone asks you about the 'man on the moon' you can tell them that its just Roger Winterbottom, from North Dakota.

The last thing you need to know is Neil's famous "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" speech. He and I had been working on the best line to say after we landed but couldn't agree. I really wanted to go with "Suck on that Russia!" but Neil was going for the whole Mr. Wonderful thing.

Mr. Wonderful my arse - he locked me in the toilet just so he could get out first and accept the world's adoration. Bastard! And that's not all, he has simply the worst flatulence of any man I know. Can you imagine what it is like being locked up inside a tin-can with Mr. Wonderful the smelly farty pants!

I can tell you, it was hell. But we did it.