Gherkin Street

By Red Dinger:

I think we should congratulate those Australians who actually cross the road where they are supposed to. Places such as the lights or pedestrian crossings. The rest of you are a pack of lazy, self-centred bar-stools. The road is for cars and if you want to cross it there are places for that. That’s what they are there for. If you really must jaywalk then at least make an effort to get out of the way when a car comes along.

I don’t know who it is that annoys me more; the ones who walk across while eyeballing you, almost daring you hit them, or those who pretend you don’t exist. Come to think of it, they annoy me about the same amount. Then there are the apologetic types, “I’ve got two little kids with me, sorry”. I don’t care, walk faster. Here’s an idea - cross where your kids can see the little green man. The lights might even make a cute little sound while you teach your kids about taking turns.

It doesn’t really matter because they have all got it over you. Apparently it is an offence to run-over a jaywalker, even thought they were on your road and not even trying to get off it with the only alternative for you being to come to a complete stop in a 60 zone. Apparently it is also an offence to drive up on the footpath with the intent of running down a defiant jaywalker who has given you “the bird” when you honked your dissatisfaction. Apparently the police have no sympathy for the driver even though it was obviously the sole mission of the jaywalker to tick you off.

Well, I only assume so because up until now I do what everyone else does when some pillock strolls out in front of my car when all they had to do was walk another 50 metres down the road to the zebra crossing where I would have happily stopped and waited as long as they liked for them to cross – I slow down, breathe and count to ten. I am doing it now.

But its not fair is it? Life is all messed up that way. I’ll bet that if you received a commendation (perhaps a nice little bumper sticker like the flying Aces get) for running down jaywalkers then the practise of incorrectly and inconsiderately crossing the road would stop. A lot of former jaywalkers wouldn’t be able to use their legs for a start but the rest would think twice before doing it again. All those North Shore Four Wheel Drives would now be justifiable too. Everybody wins.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not really advocating violence but you have to admit the thought has crossed your mind. “Sorry officer, I must have hit the accelerator instead of the brake when he just dawdled out in front of me like that.” Unfortunately its unlikely you will ever hear, “That’s all right Madam, its no longer an offence to run-over a jaywalker on account of them being so selfish and all”. Not that Sydney drivers are aggressive or anything too. The road rules are quite clear on the subject. Jaywalking is an offence. People actually get fined for it. But it sure doesn’t stop them doing it, at least not whenever I am behind the wheel.

So the fines don’t work and violence is not the answer. I suppose all we can do is think of those among us who actually think about their fellow human beings and do the right thing when crossing the road. Well done. Well done to both of you.