Gherkin Street

By Milton Montgomery:

Why is it that I must queue behind the handicapped?

More specifically, those who are able to drive a car.

What makes them more deserving of a parking space closer to the chicken shop?

Why do we acquiesce to the notion that life has dealt them a more bitter blow, denied the mere use of legs and other appendages, than anyone else?

Is it really better to walk than not?

I don’t think so. Certainly not downhill in any case. Many a time I’ve been faced with a long gradual, nay even steep, decline that I must traverse and wished for a nice comfy seat and two sturdy (and round) wheels upon which to glide to my destination. I’d even have somewhere to hang my shopping bags.

Why is it that their time is considered more precious than mine?

“I see, you are disabled,” mankind says. “Therefore I will ensure you spend less time looking for a place to park your modified vehicle than everyone else. Oh, and when you get there, you wont have as far to travel either.”

Why is my need to grab a Coke and a Mars Bar and be back before McGrath starts the next over any more important than their need, whatever it was.

Is there something wrong with their eyes? Can they not seek out a car-park like the rest of us? I’m not talking about the blind here of course, it would be foolish for them to drive, but if I have a blind man in the backseat of my car aren’t we all discriminating against him as well by forcing the both of us further from the shops?

What’s worse, we are all forced to endure endless documentaries and feel-good TV pieces about how, having been dealt such a “tragedy”, the recently handicapped person has discovered what life is all about. Having had the revelation that rest of us are too unlucky to experience, then we go and give them preferential treatment. Clearly God meant for them to learn a magical, wondrous lesson – why should we mitigate His teaching in any way?

Let me ask you this. In every depiction of the Pearly Gates of Heaven, have you ever seen some form of “exclusive” accommodation for the handicapped. No, we are all judged equally apparently. And don’t give me that, “I bet that you can walk again once you die,” crap. If that is the case and walking was so important then a pretty expedient solution is available to anyone who wants it. I’ll bet my legs that there isn’t a handicapped zone outside those big old doors.

Let me point out another thing; where handicapped parking zones are located. In front of the types of shops, stores and outlets that everyone uses. Dress shops, hardware shops, fast food outlets – you name it. Now if you are handicapped and you have no trouble going to these places, then why do you deserve special treatment? What is the problem with having to traverse the entire length of the car-park? A handicapped zone outside the wheelchair shop? No problems. But outside the sports store? Fair go mate.

Its plain unnatural. How long do you thing a gazelle, strapped neatly into her wheelchair, would last in the wild? It would be Meals on Wheels for the lions, no matter how big or powerful her battery was.

Its bad enough that my taxes go towards your axle grease and not to my children’s teeth. And that’s another thing - do I parade about with a little bag of my urine, proudly on display for you to see? No, so hide your bloody colostomy bag will you. I mean, we get hung up about seeing used handkerchiefs but a bag of your piss is no issue?

Now, for the record, I have no problem with ramps instead of stairs but they should be forced to park wherever a space is available and not right next to the damn things.

I wonder, how do the they feel about people without arms? Don’t see many of those driving around with the car top down and the radio on. I’ll bet they resent you getting special treatment and Id like to shake the hand of the first one who complains. Its not like they get special seating at the tennis now is it.

If it really was so bad to lose your legs then we would see so many more violent crimes perpetrated against those with them by those without.

“Excuse me Mr handicapped man, here are the keys to a one tonne weapon that will travel legally at 100km per hour.”
“Thankyou, I will now ram the first person I see who is walking, just so they will know how it feels.”

Doesn’t happen does it. And why should it, free parking for life, right next to wherever you want to go. Thanks everyone. Hey, there goes a bloke with a mental disorder. Poor sod, doesn’t know what he is missing …