Gherkin Street

By Red Dinger:

Here at Gherkin Street we are in possession of something that will change your life forever. It’s the Other Secret.

No, it’s not the one about Ian Thorpe being gay, that’s the “Open” Secret.

You may have heard about The Secret and The Laws of Attraction. In essence, if you imagine good things about yourself and how you would like your life to be than these things will come to pass.

Its sort of like “karma” except you don’t have to get off you're backside to do anything good in order for good things to happen to you. You do have to make the “effort” to visualise stuff though. Hmm, wonder if you could call it “visualisation”, a term that was made popular in the 1980s? Never mind, lets move on.

The Secret works though. Rhonda Byrne desperately wanted to get rich so she made a video called The Secret and look what happened to her!

Unfortunately, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, at least according to Newton. So, if there is a Law of Attraction there must also be a Law of Repulsion.

This is The Other Secret.

Be careful though, The Law of Repulsions is often confused with the feelings people get when they watch comedy on commercial television (in Australia). That’s not it.

So you think you’ve worked it out now that I've told you what the Other Secret is? You are probably thinking that if you are constantly thinking bad things then they will happen to you.

Well, you're wrong.

You see, [insert your chosen deity here] does not work that way. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do.

So, with all these people asking for good stuff to happen to them via visualisation (sorry, that should read “The Secret”), in order for the universe to be in harmony [your deity] must ensure that an equal amount of bad stuff is happening.

Do you really think [He/She/It] is going to lump all the bad stuff onto those who aren’t visualising good stuff? The people not visualising good stuff (aka “asking” [your deity] for things) might be miserable buggers but do they really deserve an extra helping of crappola just because someone else asked for a Ferrari?

Nope. [Your deity] doesn’t think so either.

Hence the Law of Repulsion.

[He/She/It] will give you all the good stuff you ask for, but [your deity] will also throw a new bunch of bad stuff at you as well. Want a boyfriend with a big you-know-what? Sure, have him. What are those red bumps on his big you-know-what? Never mind, you’ll find out.

Here’s the thing. With all these people asking [your deity] for stuff all the time, whenever someone visualises bad stuff to happen to other people (especially those asking for good stuff) then [your deity] loves it! Makes their job easier you see.

So guess what? [Your deity] will reward you as well.

So the more you visualise bad things happening to those wishing for good stuff, the more that bad things happen to them and the more good things happen to you. Plus, the happier [your deity] is with you.

That’s the Other Secret. Go forth and prosper. Tell your friends. They’ll thank you for it. We could write a book and make millions but who wants that?